REFLECTING ON 2019

I don’t know about you, but I find it so surreal that we’re ending a whole decade! The idea of being ten years older alone makes me cringe. This really solidifies the sobering truthfulness of how time waits for no one. Reflecting on 2019 makes me realize how it’s been a strange year: hopeful in the first few months, sneakily dreadful midway with an eventfully quiet ending which I’m grateful for. It will always be the year that completely mangled my overly genuine heart in a way I never thought possible with my perception of people, how I love, and trust and giving selflessly forever altered. It was not short of trying situations, disappointing revelations, plenty of emotional anguish, and defeat. While those times were extremely difficult to navigate through, what I can say is that despite those dark periods where I experienced the lowest of lows, it’s during such times I experienced the most growth. One thing is for certain, 2019 was truly a ‘coming into my own’ kind of year on a whole other level. 

I fully expect in the voyage on the sea of life, stormy weather is inevitable and during the worst storms of your life, that’s when you get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you. One of the most eye-opening things I came to grievously accept is how some people can manipulate, lie, treat you badly and somehow manage to make it all seem like you’re the bad egg. True, the lessons may be hard, the sufferings great but, I survived it all and remained firm with my feet planted on the ground with the help of my God. And thankfully, even though I weathered (the operative word here is weathered…) some bad times in this season of my life, there was an equal amount of experiencing the most beautiful rainbows and rays of sunshine through those dark clouds – leaving me with some really amazing memories to keep me smiling. I got to dance in the rainstormso-to-speak. For one thing, Igot to see more of the world togetherwith the hubby than ever before andended the summer such high notes. The takeaway is there are blessings despite the storms. 

It is my prayer that the old negative energy is clearing out and that all difficulties die along with 2019. Meanwhile, in 2020, my main goal is to work on shedding some weight. I don’t mean in pounds, (although very necessary as well), but shedding emotional baggage to create mental space for more important things. Important things like reading my Bible in the morning before doing anything else, living my life more mindfully in slow motion and cultivate more patience. The kind that can endure without any thought of retaliation, putting up with difficult circumstances without losing hope, while maintaining a positive attitude. The art of life lies in a constant readjustment from what we learn. So, for now, I’m determined to stay firmly planted and remaining steadfast no matter what may come my way which isn’t easy but I hope to greatly improve by the end of 2020. Here’s to a season of three-hundred-sixty-five days of newness to building back up putting all of those pieces together. 

What are your goals? I’d love to hear!