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Being tactful is called an ART. It is something that we’re not born with, but we need and must cultivate this quality if we want to be kind. It first starts by being observant. This means analyzing the signs that indicate the feelings of the person we are speaking with asking ourselves: “why are they saying this? or reacting that way? Is it because the person is timid, skeptical, annoyed, or busy? Does he feel insulted, ignored, or misunderstood? How could kindness make him feel better? Perceiving people’s feelings will help discern how best to treat them kindly. So, our success in being tactful is to observe how people feel and then to respond compassionately. No, that does not mean you’re a “wuss, weak” etc…it actually shows STRENGTH!
Show Understanding
People like to feel that you understand their viewpoint even if you do not agree with it. So,when a person speaks of some problem, rather than offering a solution before hearing the matter out, a tactful way of showing that you understand is to repeat the problem or complaint in your own words. This is a kind way of showing that you understand.
Recognize What Not to Say
Tact includes kindly recognizing what not to say. Sometimes, it’s best not to say the first thing that comes to mind. {I am working on that as well…;} Being Brutally honest can be RUDE and inconsiderate! Definitely not attractive. {Kindness is fashionable – soon, I will be sharing something exciting on that with you, and I’m going to need your help and support;}
Replace your Speech With Words That Heal
Learning the art of tactful speech will help you to enjoy happy relations with others, even when someone has misunderstood your motives and is bitter and resentful. Try always to consider how your words will affect other people. Making the effort to be tactful will help you to experience the joy of this proverbial saying:
“O how good and how wonderful it is to be able to say the right thing at the right time!”
Photo Courtesy of *DSev101