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Hello everybody! Just taking a quick second to say that I’m still here. Don’t abandon BSI yet.
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From the start of 2013, I’ve lost about four close friends in death. I haven’t really mentioned it here because for the most part I want this blog to be inspirational and I want to spread positivity. However, there are moments that we need to take for a reality check too, and that’s why I felt it was necessary to share what kept me from blogging for over a week or so.
About two weeks ago, right in the middle of my exhaustive move, I got the worst news possible. The death of a very dear one – and this one hits closer to home. You see, no matter how “common” death seems to be these days, it still isn’t a normal thing to accept especially when it’s a premature loss. Having tasted the bitter shock of losing my mother at the tender age of 12, when I hear the news of someone who dies young and leaves children behind, it always leave me feeling like the rug got ripped from underneath me. Needless to say, ever since receiving that news, I haven’t been able to rid my mind of the devastating report and it has sent me into somewhat of a seclusion. Unexpected tragedies such as these always seem to make such an impact on our lives and force us to reexamine what truly is important and what really matters in life doesn’t it?
In today’s society, most people think money, possessions and high-paying jobs provide security and happiness. I’m not going to deny that at times having such things might take the bite off of life’s reality and may seem to afford certain advantages. However, when you think about it – what do they deliver when health fails, when the economy crumbles, or when a natural disaster strikes? What do they deliver when people feel empty inside, in need of purpose, direction, and answers to life? We all can agree nothing!
Take it from me – someone who lost a mother (she was only at the age of thirty-four years) within less than twenty-four hours. As a child, I always thought mom was going to be with me forever and took her presence for granted, and now how I WISH she was still here with me to experience the nurturing, her hugs, her words of reassurance, hearing the soft simple words ‘I love you’ knowing that she really means it with all the fiber of her soul, or experience the bonding moments that daughters usually have with their moms by chatting about life’s issues, decisions and happy moments.
How much better it is to live with the consciousness that happiness isn’t a mere pleasure that comes simply through the acquisition of things and constant work while our loved ones left on the back burner so-to-speak, for “when we have time…” Life is fleeting – tomorrow isn’t promised. The cherishing of our loved ones begin now, right this second, they should be first and foremost more than anything else that might appear important.
A few simple things that we can do now that may seem trivial, but necessary are these:
1. Listen to your loved ones with empathy
2. Reassure them that they are wanted, valued and loved
3. Encourage, motivate and support where necessary
4. Give the gift of time. Spend quality time with your loved ones
5. Say I love you and mean it
6. Give small unexpected thoughtful gifts throughout the year
7. Tell them why they’re appreciated
8. Give hugs often…you’d be surprised how much power a hug has
9. Speak kindly to them with kind words
10. Build up don’t tear down. When angry leave to cool down first before speaking