The Sting Of Death

I debated for days and hours over whether or not I should write this post. Mainly because I know most people read blogs for the pretty pictures and the glamorous lifestyle of others. Also, my goal is to inspire and motivate by sharing beautiful things that can make life worthwhile. But unfortunately, even amidst the many blessings, life can be unpredictable. Sometimes bad things happen, and since I’m a keep it real type of girl, I figured it’s also good to share and/or show that life isn’t always peachy; we all have our problems.

These past few weeks have been rough dealing with my mother-in-law’s illness which took a turn for the worse and she fell asleep in death. If you have gone through the ordeal of losing someone you love, you know the sting that death brings and the overwhelming feeling of grief that ensues. To be honest, seeing someone you once knew in their full vigor and vim, quickly fade away to a completely feeble and sickly person can only make you reflect on how fragile life is and the importance of living in such a way that makes each day count so as not to have any regrets. Throughout this terrible experience of barely sleeping, being constantly on the run to the hospital, finalizing her affairs – we went through many moments of feeling completely helpless, but with the support of many loving friends and sustained by the knowledge of the true condition of the dead, we have been able to cope with our great loss. When this enemy death strikes it helps you realize how unnatural this process is because even knowing she had been ill for a while, it still takes you by surprise when the person you were just conversating with the day before is no longer around. It’s all been very surreal.  Life is only but a mist that quickly fades away in an exhalation. Of course, people handle their grief in different ways. However, for me, I’ve always found one of the most helpful outlets to grieve is to express emotions by putting them in writing or keeping a journal. Sometimes, reflecting back on moments shared with that loved one can turn those painful tears to joyful ones. I will miss my greetings to her “hello, mothers!”, our visits together, our jokes, and the way she signed her texts to us “love you, mothers”. There’s such a deep void now that just jolts the heart every now and then.

Ever since she passed, I can’t seem to get rid of this song out of my head…